I Never Get Sick
by The Marauders3
Summary: House has clinic duty and a little girl gets him sick. He meets someone who wants to have a relationship with him.
1. Clinic Duty

House is the bestest show ever….I must admit that it is even better than Summerland. Anyways, I know this story isn't as good as the show because you don't get to see Hugh Laurie, but I hope you like it. By the way it starts out w/ Dr. House having clinic duty.

"Take some Tylenol and sleep, if it gets worse go to another doctor," House said grumpily as he opened the door and limped from the room. When Cuddy heard the door slam she hurried over to House glaring at him with annoyed eyes, the eyes he tried to avoid when she was angry.

"House, come down to the Café during your lunch, we need to discuss a patient," Cuddy declared. House ignored her by whistling a song that was so off key it might as well of been an impersonation of a dying cat. As he whistled he continued to the next room as Cuddy called after him with her high heels speeding up until she was in front of him.

Turning his head slightly, with a smirk he said, "Hello Cuddy, I though you were one of those sexy models that wear only their lingerie, what are they called again? Oh, that's right, strippers."

"We need to talk about a patient," Cuddy repeated herself while pushing aside the rude joke.

"I heard you the first time, but why can't we just talk about them now, why must we always talk about these dying people behind their back?" House's eyes sparkled in the light as he pretended to feel bad for the people he treated.

Cuddy responded, "Because she will be with us, so we won't be discussing her health issues behind her back."

"Are you sure that isn't just an excuse to make me come because you know I would still come with out any excuses. You know how I hate to miss meetings especially when they are with my favorite person." House acted to look hurt.

"Oh go see the next patient." Cuddy dismissed him. Without replying House went into the room. A young girl sat sniffling in the small, grey rolling chair that served as a doctor's chair.

"Are you the patient?" House inquired.

"Yes," she replied her voice raspy.

"Darn it, I was hoping you'd have left by now….Anyways, get out of my chair. That is where the patients sit," He pointed to a raised chair covered with protective paper. She moved sluggishly as House peered at her side ways while she tried to lift herself. House plopped into the chair and watched amusingly until she managed to get up and then shrink back in relief.

"Tell me a little about yourself," House said after a moment.

The girl spoke and she tried hard to cover up the hoarseness in her voice, "My name is Cosette and I am 8 and a half years old. I go to elementary school and I am in 3rd grade. I like frogs, they are so adorable, see?" She stretched her shirt to make sure he saw the green frogs that covered her shirt.

"Yes how cute. What are some of your symptoms?" He replied as he stuck a thermometer in her ear. The girl answered by saying "um" a couple of times.

"What?" She asked.

"You know, what hurts? Have you been coughing, itchy eyes, rashes…" House droned on and on thinking it funny to hear his voice in such a boring tone.

"My throat hurts and I feel dizzy, my mouth sometimes gets a funny taste," she said.

"And you have a fever of 102 degrees Fahrenheit…Isn't that nice they sent me a feverish little girl for Christmas. Open your mouth so I can see your throat," House ordered as he picked out a popsicle stick and two cotton swabs. As Cosette did so she started to cough and gag, House rushed up to her just in time to see what she had for breakfast.

After Cosette was done and the mush had stopped flying House said calmly, "Well, you have the stomach flu, go tell your mommy, she should know what to do." House stood dripping as she stepped over the puddle of mashed bananas and small pieces of half-digested bread.

"Thank you Mr. doctor, I'm sorry about the mess, I-I didn't mean to," she stuttered with her face red with embarrassment. Then she was gone, House stayed there for a moment looking around him and all he thought about was that he had an extra pair of pants and a shirt, but no shoes.

"Your lunch started half an hour ago…The patient couldn't wait any longer and she left," Cuddy scowled as soon as he sat down in one of the Café's green, plastic chairs.

"Then I don't have to stay here and eat food that I would normally not eat unless it was forced down my throat with a tube, besides I don't really have an appetite since I just got someone's breakfast regurgitated all over me." Cuddy pulled him back to his seat as he turned to leave.

"No, please stay," She looked longingly at him, "We haven't had lunch together for a long time." At this House sunk into his chair and opened the menu with a pout. When the waiter came cuddy ordered an ice tea with a light salad.

"I think I'll have the ribs…No maybe the lobster…You know what I'll have the ribs, lobster, and the bow tie pasta, "House struggled to make up his mind. The waiter scribbled something out and wrote something else.

As the waiter walked away a woman emerged from the door way and came up to their table," Cristi, I thought you left?" Cuddy asked the woman.

"I did, but I left my Vicodin…You must be House," Cristi turned with her arm extended towards him.

Paying no attention to her hand, House muttered, "And that's my Vicodin you are trying to take." Cristi examined the bottle for a trice and then set it back down. After standing deep in though, she got on her hands and knees and wiggled her way under the table. Cuddy looked considerably uncomfortable as she heard Cristi shout that she found it. As she crawled back out House managed to "accidentally" kick her. Cristi hopped up and rubbed her right arm before grabbing another green chair and pulled it up to the small table with out being asked. When the waiter came back she ordered as well.

Throughout the meal the talked very little until Cuddy suggested that Cristi tell House about her injuries. "I had just turned thirty-four and my husband was driving us home from our last few days of relaxation. We were driving pretty fast when I saw two dogs sprint in front of the car and I screamed at my husband. He swerved off the road and we went over a cliff. He didn't survive and I am lucky to be here with only scars and searing pain in my arm and hand," Cristi's eyes fogged up as she looked back on that day, "The only thing is I hallucinated those dogs, they weren't really there. It had started a week before my birthday, but I didn't realize it until they told me…I killed my husband…"

After a while of eating in silence so Cristi could get over the tragedy again Cuddy spoke, "So Dr. House what do you think of this?"

"It's remarkable, you lived because God thought I needed yet another person to aggravate me," House said plucking lobster into his mouth.

Before Cuddy could retort the waiter interrupted, "Would you like any desserts today?"

"Yes, I want the Chocolate Fountain Cake to go," House answered with a full mouth. As they finished eating the waiter brought out a rather large to-go box and the bill. When House glanced at the total he stood up.

"Cuddy, I assume you'll be paying?" Without waiting for a response House left in a rush with the cake in his hands. Cuddy sighed as they lingered a little longer in the warm summer sun.

"Your boyfriend is cute," Cristi smiled.

Cuddy made a face, "House? He isn't my boyfriend."

"So you mean he is single?" Cristi's eyes lit up.

"Yes, but he doesn't date, and if he did he doesn't think anything of you. You even heard him say so….Sort of," Cuddy replied.

Cristi was still gleaming, "You mean to say a guy like that is just sitting there and nobody is taking him?"

"Must I say it again? He doesn't -"She was cut off.

"We have so much in common, I bet he'd date me," Cristi was growing defensive.

"Stay away from House," Cuddy stressed each word as she warned her friend, but nothing, it seemed, would keep Cristi from getting what she wanted.


	2. Elevator

Here's Chapter two, I hope you like it. There will obviously be more juicy junk with House and Cristi….Just not in this chapter.

The alarm clock exploded in his ears louder than ever and he felt weaker as he lifted himself up. House turned to the sound and fumbled for the snooze button, when he found it he jabbed his finger into it three times just to make sure it turned the screaming alarm into tranquility. House slipped into a light sleep knowing in ten minutes he would be roused again.

This time he managed to pull himself out of bed, but his leg was pierced with needles of agonizing pain. He gasped as the throbbing seemed to coil up his leg like fire when he took a step away from his bed which had been supporting him. Tears filled his luminous eyes as hit the floor, his leg seemed almost paralyzed with pain and he could not get up. Incapable of to standing, House managed to pull himself across the floorboards. He finally got to his closet where his cane was propped on the wall. Before reaching for it he wiped the sweat that was slithering down from his forehead in little droplets.

Once up on his feet again he moved slightly quicker than a snail, but that was better than crawling on the floor. House groaned when he realized his Vicodin was on the other side of the room…the side he had just come from. First he dressed not caring that his black shirt was extremely wrinkled, unable to do much more for his looks, not just because of the pain, but also because he was being lazy. He hobbled back to his bed and instantly shoved a couple of Vicodin in his mouth. After swallowing them he decided to rest some more, but moments after House was thrown into a coughing fit.

"Where's House?" Chase asked as he rushed into the room five minutes late.

Foreman opened his mouth to answer, but Cameron replied first, "Who knows and who cares…We have about an hour to figure out what's wrong with this girl….she has no other relatives except her great uncle and he says to just pull the plug and let her die peacefully."

"Is that all the background information you have?" Someone said behind them, all three turned around to see House, who looked very groggy and pale.

"No, but your late," Cameron said mental noting the fact that he was hardly walking on his leg.

"So what? I'm a doctor, I can be late whenever I want," House continued to his chair slowly.

"She is 17 years old and a few months ago she had an abortion….She was adopted, her birth parents could not be located and her adopted parents are both dead," Cameron answered as she flipped through the pages on her clipboard.

"And how did they die? Brain Tumor? Failing organs? Suicide?" House named possible option.

"She wouldn't say, but we found that her mother was a drunk and killed her father…brutally. Her mom went to jail and was charged with 3rd degree murder….again and so they executed her…" Cameron trailed off.

"Seems like her whole family is bad news," Chase commented.

"Actually," Foreman said as he looked over Cameron's shoulder, "Her father and uncle owned a business, they were rather wealthy."

House looked at Cameron with his sapphire like eyes that seemed to look duller today, "You say she was executed? Like they chopped off her head and let it roll away because they were too busy watching the blood spurt from her neck? I didn't know they still did that…Hmm, maybe I could study to do that instead."

"Ha. Ha." Chase said dryly.

"Hey watch it Brit. Boy or you're pretty head will be the first I chop up," House smirked weakly.

Cameron interrupted, "We have 45 minutes, stop being jerks and let's save this girl."

"Maybe a birth defect…You said her mother drinks," Foreman shot a suggestion.

"No, it would have been found when she was born," Chase replied.

"Wait what are some symptoms?" House stopped the discussion.

Foreman took the clipboard and read from it, "Depression, pain in her abdominal, also rectal bleeding and a fairly high fever."

"Diverticulitis," Cameron looked up after she heard the symptoms again.

"Possibly…Come on people THINK!" House practically bellowed.

"Colon cancer?" Chase asked.

"She's too young," Cameron shut down his idea.

"Let's go with Cameron's guess," House interrupted Chase's retort, "Do a physical examination and get x-rays." House got up slowly and winced with pain, but tuned quickly so nobody would notice. Once out of the room he forced a couple more Vicodin pills in his mouth and rested against the wall before continuing to his office. There it was quiet and he had a couple of candy bars stashed in his desk drawer. As he ate he rested his head in his hand, but when his fingers touched his skin it was so hot even though he was shivering. At the first bite out of the chocolate bar House felt his stomach churn, but he knew he had to eat something.

Someone knocked on the door, House looked up but nobody was there, it came again and again, it was so thunderous. House covered his ears and stared at the door, his eyes were watering with pain. All he hard now was the soft hum of his mind and the air rushing in and out of his nasal cavities. He let go of his ears just as Cuddy swung the door open and her pink heels clanked on the floor much louder than the day before.

"Take off the damn heels Cuddy!" House yelled.

"Why?" Cuddy frowned as she stopped at his desk and dropped a file.

House groaned, "Because they're so loud!" Cuddy's brow furrowed and she paced across the floor once, then she examined House's face as if he were crazy.

"You're a bit pale, are you sick?" She finally asked.

House made a face and spat a reply, "No, I never get sick. Are you nuts?"

Cuddy smirked and tapped her fingers on the file, "If you never get sick why did you call in two weeks ago with a cold?"

"As if it's any of your business if I was sick or had a stripper over," House answered. Cuddy thought it best not to reply and slid the file over to him before turning to leave. House tugged on her hand and when she looked at him questioningly he nodded in the direction of her shoes. Cuddy sighed loudly and reached down to unbuckle the thin strap, but changed her mind and left the room making sure the end of her heels clicked against the floor as loud as possible. House rubbed his temples and leaned back in his chair, with his feet propped up on his desk he plummeted into a deep slumber.

Hours afterwards Wilson tread softly into the office and tried to hold back laughter as he thought of many things he could do to House. Putting shaving cream in his hand and tickling his face was always a good one, but he had done that last time. Dipping his hand in warm water and making him pee his pants seemed cruel, but then again wasn't that the definition of House. Instead Wilson just decided to wake him up by making irritating sounds. Taking notice of the candy bars Wilson saw a perfect opportunity and reached for a Crunch bar. As he opened the wrapper and crinkled it loudly Chase and Cameron walked in. Wilson pivoted around and motioned for them to come over. He handed them each a Snickers and tore them open noisily, House twitched and stirred and then was still again. Foreman appeared behind them just as they were going to take a bite.

Cameron whispered, "We're out of candy bars, sorry."

"What are we doing?" Foreman asked glancing at House who was now snoring.

"Being obnoxious," Wilson answered with a grin, "When we start chewing click your tongue on the roof of your mouth." Foreman nodded still a bit puzzled. Chase counted down with his fingers and then they munched and chomped the chocolate as loud as they could. Foreman attempted to click his tongue, but he didn't succeed, so instead he drummed a pencil against the side of the desk and hummed. As soon as House's eyes fluttered open they couldn't hold in their giggles. Wilson and Foreman were holding their stomachs from laughing so hard and Cameron was gasping for breath. Chase however had quickly shut his mouth after noticing House's condition, Cameron was the next to notice.

"House, are you okay? You look sick," Cameron said while concern filled her face.

"What?" House yelled.

"Are you sick?" Chase asked loudly repeating Cameron.

House replied, "I don't get sick."

"But last week-" Wilson was interrupted.

House cut him off, "I'm not going to give you her number, Wilson. Just stop asking me." Seeing that House seemed all right the group slowly broke apart and got back to their work..

"Wilson?" House called out after everyone else had left.

"Yeah," He asked, making himself comfortable.

"Did you put my hand in warm water again?" House looked over curiously.

"No," Wilson said blandly, "But I thought about it."

"Then why are you still here?" He lowered his eyelids so that his eyes were small azure slits and made his voice suspicious.

Wilson pondered this question for a moment and realized that he had forgotten why he came when the joke started. Finally Wilson remembered, "Cuddy had, uh, something for us to do…"

"That's very reassuring," House was now absorbed in staring at Wilson with one eye and then switching to the other.

"Come on, I'll take you," Wilson exhaled heavily and forced his body out of the chair. House positioned himself contently and picked up a book as if not hearing his friend. "House," Wilson repeated a couple of times, but he got no response. House flipped to the next page and appeared deeply intrigued by the black ink that swirled across the milky white page.

After watching House scan over at least fifteen pages Wilson grew frustrated with House's unpleasant attitude and was about to speak up when someone else did, "Where were you Dr. House?"

"Hold on, I'm reading. Let me finish the chapter," House whined.

"Oh what's it about?" She asked impatiently.

"Some loser fell off a ladder and had a baby," House took some word he saw at the moment and jumbled them up.

"A baby?" Wilson frowned at his summary which didn't make any sense.

"That's what it said on the back…Caring for babies can be hard, both inside and outside the mother's body…" House began to read the real summary on the cover. "What is this?"

"A maternity book," Cuddy flipped to the front page to show him. "Now I need you to take care of some work on the 6th floor…Then you can finish the book." House mumbled something about Cuddy secretly being a stripper as he and Wilson sauntered out the door. They reached the elevator and Wilson gently pressed the button with the picture of an arrow.

"Like this, you gentle nitwit!" House provoked his friend. Suddenly he swayed a little and reached for his head.

"Are you okay?" Wilson inquired alarmed by his condition. Just then the elevator chimed and the doors opened. After stepping in House seemed once more stable. It took forever for the doors to close and in the mean time House delighted himself by pressing every number. Wilson shot him a dirty look when the elevator stopped at the next floor. The doors opened and Wilson hit the "close" button so they could continue up. This went on until they finally reached the 6th floor.

As the doors opened House's eyes drooped and the room began to gyrate around him. "You aren't okay House!" Wilson cried out as House fell to the floor for the second time that day.

"How many time do I have to tell you people! I'm not sick!" house coughed. House knew though, that it wasn't true because he felt the chocolate rise into his throat. The last thing he heard before everything went black was his stomach contents splashing on the ground next to him.


	3. Sick

Okay this is Chapter 3, I don't have anything to say really because the story says everything that needs to be said. So read and review please. By the way, the real Cristi is really quite like the Cristi in this story, the way she dresses and all.

House's eyes was blurred as he woke up in a lumpy hospital bed. Looking around, the room faintly grew stiller and clearer, but house still felt queasy. His vision finally came into focus and he become aware of the humming and beeping of machines that cut through the silence. Nobody was sitting in the room watching him so he figured it couldn't be too bad. House recalled what had happened earlier to see if he could diagnose himself.

When he grew bored of the lack of interesting diseases he could diagnose himself with he pushed a row of buttons with lay next to the bed. As he adjusted his bed a woman in polka-dotted scrubs strode in. "May I help you, sir?" She asked politely.

"Ja brauche ich einen Stripper, sexy bitte," House answered sounding serious.

"Excuse me?" She looked at him and scrunched up her face to show she didn't understand.

"You heard me, strip down and dance for my pleasure," House jutted out his chin and looked her up and down. She was younger, about 35 and her platinum hair curved around her face with only a few strands in her eyes.

"Um, how about a glass of hell no instead," She grimaced.

"You know I am a doctor? I could fire you for not fulfilling your patients' needs," House cocked an eyebrow and as she struggled to decide what to do he licked his lips lusciously.

"House, stop being obnoxious," Said Cuddy as she walked in to check on him. He moaned loudly as if she had ruined his chance with the nurse. "It's okay Rebecca, I'll take care of this one." As the nurse left she stuck her tongue out at House.

House watched Rebecca until she was out of earshot, "I think you need to fire that Rebecca girl, she doesn't tend to her patients' needs."

"And I think you should stop scaring our nurses away by hitting on them," Cuddy seemed a little covetous.

"Cuz you want me for yourself? Or is it that I'm a malicious old man and you think nobody could love me?" House managed to sound like a little lost child.

"House, stop joking around, you should be resting," Cuddy said concerned.

House half-laughed, "Why? I'm not sick."

"You threw up," She reminded him as she looked around the dreary white room, years ago they had tried to spark it up with a row of starry wall paper encircling the border, but it didn't seem to have much affect.

"I don't think so, and I would know because if I had thrown up I'd have been there, which I wasn't. Besides I think I remember you telling me I had clinic duty. Do you really want to make all those patients wait?" House stated as he lifted himself from the bumpy mattress.

"There are more doct-"

"I wish you'd say that everyday," House cut her respond short.

"…Wait, I never said you had clinic duty…You were supposed to be working on a case today, you know the girl who only had an hour to live," Cuddy explained.

"I know, but anything is better than lying in a hospital bed all day," House replied as he headed for the door.

"You have the stomach flu, you aren't going anywhere," Cuddy called to him as he tried to dash out, "You are aware that this IS a hospital and there are very weak patients."

"So?" House asked.

Cuddy was growing frustrated, "So you are very contagious right now…Like I said you have the stomach flu." House stopped before the door closed and stepped back in, he remembered the little girl he had seen in the clinic. Images flashed through his mind, the virus had had many opportunities to sneak into his body and infect him.

"Please get back in bed," Cuddy begged, ripping him from the reminiscence. House shambled back after abruptly noticing how fatigued he was from just walking across the room and back again.

"I will only be a good boy if you bring me my Game Boy," He said wiggling back under the itchy sheets. Cuddy nodded and left, house propped up the pillows, which he planned on later complaining about how under stuffed they were, and turned on the TV to channel surf. When Cuddy returned House had his eyes locked on the screen which showed a teenage girl creeping through the forest.

"It's amazing…The psycho killer is going after her when he could go after the dumber one. It would be so much less work, plus the dumb one is way more sexy," House commented on the show without even glimpsing at Cuddy. She dropped the Game Boy in his lap and was gone once more. When the show was over a nurse came in and turned the television off after observing that House had fallen asleep. His lunch was cold by the time he woke up, but he only took a few bites of it anyways. Then he set to playing his Scooby-Doo on his Game Boy for hours upon hours.

Heels. They hit the ground loudly and the door swung open. House stared despisingly at the pair of gold strappy high-heeled shoes embroidered with rhinestones. After a moment he continues up, her legs seemed so perfectly shaped and smooth, they are barely hidden covered by a gold mini with sparkles that make a cute design. House stopped at her torso and gawked. Her black bra was somewhat visible through her extremely low-cut, white, satin shirt. The collar was ruffled and her sleeves rolled up midway. House couldn't help thinking, as she flicked away a piece of hair causing her upper body to ripple smoothly, that he just might be hallucinating again.

Then he saw her face and quickly checked his chin for drool and his dreamy look turned to a scowl, "What are you doing here!" Cristi stealthily walked in, oh it was so perfect, The way her body shifted as she got closer to him. The way her hair seemed to bounce and then land so elegantly on her shoulders and framing her beautifully sculptured face.

"I heard you were sick, Lisa had another appointment planned, but you had to go and throw up," Cristi replied, her voice silky as it smoothed over every word.

"Go away then," House murmured, trying to focus his eyes on the Game Boy.

"No, I was thinking some fresh air would be good for you, God knows how stuffy it is in here," Cristi said, not planning on leaving house any time soon.

"God knows who's naughty," House shot back, eyeing her low-cut shirt that revealed too much cleavage.

Cristi pouted slightly, "Come on…You were so eager to leave earlier…even if it meant clinic duty," Her voice slithered into his ear cunningly.

"I think you might be more annoying than Cuddy," House exclaimed, attempting to push her away with his icy words. He puts down his Game Boy, unable to concentrate on the miniature characters, and begins to toss a red bouncy ball into the air. Cristi tugged on his arm to force him up, but he resists. Finally she caught the ball and smirked as House gave in.

"I hate you," House told her as they walked out into the sunlight.

"Why? Are you, like, afraid of the outdoors?" She giggled. "Like vampires?"

"No, but I think I'm allergic to little girls who have crushes on me," House answered and was grateful for the wave of uneasiness that passed over Cristi. They roamed around the park-like grounds until they reached a fountain, hidden by bushes. Although it wasn't running, probably because it was so secluded, they sat down on the bench near it and looked around to see the wilting flowers surrounding them.

"House?" Cristi asked after a moment, forcing him back to reality.

"Leave me alone," House said, not bothering to make eye contact.

"Why don't you like me?" Cristi stared at the side of his face, afraid to look away, "Is it because I'm like you?"

"I-uh…what do you mean not like you? Your hot as hell, I thought you were my stripper when you came in," House tried to make a joke to avoid answering the penetrating question.

"Well, thanks, but I mean…would you consider a date…or-or relationship?

"I-uh…I," House stuttered, "No, you think you can get everything you want!" house became overcome with fury at what he realized, "You want me because I'm a challenge, because you want a chase."

Cristi searched his eyes as her own began to water with frustration, "Maybe, but that's just what I'm attracted to."

"Who would ever be attracted to me?" House looked sad and sounded less angry.

"I do," Cristi decided to plunge, no matter the outcome. She closed her eyes and moved forward slightly until her lips came in contact with his. She pressed harder and maneuvered her tongue into his mouth. She felt him kiss back as if forgetting what a kiss felt like, he nibbled a little on her lower lip, but she felt it was on accident. After another moment of tonsil hockey House tore his lips from Cristi's and his eyes burned holes into hers.


	4. The Talk

Sorry I haven't written anything for a while. This school year has been so crazy, but now that I've got a free night here is chapter four. Anyways, it's kind of short, but I promise the next chapter will be longer and much more twisted!

House was stunned, they sat staring at each other, breathing heavily. He almost wanted to lash out at her, but somehow he just couldn't let it out. She was like him, she went through the pain he did, she was interesting.

"I think we should go back now before you attempt to screw me and then I end up with some STD," House found his voice and let a cruel joke slip without knowing it. Cristi grimaced, but quickly regained her stature and gave a slight nod. Cristi had wished he would at least be a little affectionate, but she wasn't feeling the love._ Could it be true? Could this person really have an icy black heart_? They awkwardly made their way back to the hospital doors, a curtain of uneasy silence had fallen upon them both.

Cuddy watched from the clinic windows, she felt small and unwanted as the "couple" came up the sidewalk. She could only imagine what had happened in the secluded rose bushes, a perfect place for love to begin and all hope to end. A tear began to form in her right eye and the corners of her mouth twitched, but only slightly. She continued to spy as House opened the door for Cristi. Silently she wished he would slam it in Cristi's face as she attempted to walk through, but surprisingly House didn't. Against all her will, Cuddy felt the little green monster grow inside of her. She knew that something had happened and she was pretty sure what that something was.

Soon they disappeared on the elevator and Cuddy shook her gaze from House to a nearby patient who had been examining her every move. "Who was that?"

"Dr. House," Cuddy answered brusquely.

The blonde, petite woman was trying to push her to the limit, to make her snap, "Oh, is he, like, your boyfriend?"

Cuddy fused, but even with all the anger her embarrassment showed through her cheeks, "No…" This time she was a little more polite, almost like a teenage girl mooning over her crush.

"Well you seemed rather interested in him," she admitted to her curiosity.

"He owes me clinic hours," Cuddy lied with a hint of distaste in her voice, "I'll be right back." Without waiting for a reply Cuddy hastily called down the elevator the two love birds had been in. She pressed floor 3 and waited for the sickening lurch. As soon as the doors opened she stepped out and heard voices in the silent hall. Cristi was whispering a few doors down and House was moaning quietly. Cuddy let out a bit of a whimper as if she had just been slapped. House with her?! With Cristi?! Her fears fulfilled, Cuddy felt even more forgotten, even more crushed than before. She roamed the melancholy halls and eventually turned her gaze to the sad world beyond a smeared window. Alone.

I told you it would be short…only I didn't expect it to be so sad, nor did I expect the last sentence to be a fragment. Anyways I promise, promise, promise the next chapter will be much longer and really funny with loads of jokes.


	5. Cat Fight

Guess what!!! It's chapter five…This chapter was very hard to write because I had written it in like May along with chapter four. The only problem was I couldn't find how I got to where I was in the beginning of chapter five. House somehow ended up dying in the hospital bed when the end of the last chapter they weren't even there yet! So then I had to make a beginning and then it got even worse half way through. Anywho, here it goes, I hope you enjoy it!

As Cristi left room 238 she was quite content with her success, but also chilled by House's callous words. Suddenly all the feeling drained from the sulking Cuddy as Cristi ran into her when she turned the corner. Cuddy managed a weak, robotic smile and Cristi burst into happiness, "Lisa! Lisa, it's working!" When Cuddy heard the delight in her voice the green monster took over. She launched forward and as Cristi screamed her knuckles bashed into her ribs. Cristi was ready for to fight back by grabbing a chunk of Cuddy's shiny black curls. The yelps brought House from his room and he watched excitedly. They rolled over each other, biting and shrieking. As they tossed around Cristi pounded Cuddy in the face which caused Cuddy to tear at Cristi's arms with her manicured nails.

House began to enjoy this very much and called out, "Cuddy are you sure this is ok for the baby? You're not being a very good mummy." The noise brought quite a crowd, nurses and patients immerged from the rooms that lined the long corridor. They, watching, were too stunned to break it up. Now blood began to pour from Cuddy's nose and Cristi's face was red with anger, slowly they were running out of energy. Foreman and Chase rushed to the scene of the fight with their pagers beeping urgently. Chase grabbed for Cuddy who struggled against his tanned, strong arms. Once Cuddy was vulnerable and unable to fight Cristi lunged for her. As Foreman seized her from behind at the last moment Cristi tore Cuddy's shirt almost completely revealing a black lace bra.

Cristi yelled, "You bitch! You said I could have him! That was the plan, to get House dating again! You said you wouldn't be jealous!" Foreman dragged her until they were pressed against the wall opposite Chase and Cuddy, out of fighting range. The two women were breathing heavily and their hair hung in a tangled mess over their livid faces.

"Okay…" Cuddy sighed giving in, "Okay."

"What the hell is-" Chase started to scold them in an irresistible Australian accent.

"No Chase, I know how to handle this," House interrupted with a smirk, "What the hell is this about?" They stood silent and looked to the ground avoiding all the eyes upon their ashamed scene. House eyed them up and down; stopping at Cuddy's exposed cleavage to gawk, waiting for an answer. But when the response came the blue-eyed doctor wasn't surprised at all.

"I, um…She and you and, and," Cuddy stuttered as she became conscious of the real truth about the fight. She looked up at House with a loss of words. House turned to Cristi and waited for her to let up. She hung in Foreman's arms examining her wounds, purposely keeping the answer to herself for a moment. She peeked up at Cristi and felt a grin grow on her face with pride; she had done more damage to Cuddy. She had won.

"We…" Cristi began with a large sigh, "We were fighting over you." Foreman and Chase looked at one another when they heard this statement. Women. Fighting. Over. House. It came loud and clear and with a stinging punch of disbelief. Everyone except House seemed shocked and slightly disgusted by the idea.

"Chase?" Cuddy finally found her voice.

"Yeah?" The young blonde doctor asked.

"Let go of me right now," Cuddy gritted her teeth as she demanded this.

Chase's answer was a short and simple, "No."

"Do you want to keep your job?" She inquired knowing her would give in sooner or later.

"What kind of question is that? Yeah, I want to keep my job," His tone telling her she was wasting her time. Cuddy tried to pry her hands from around her waist before continuing. Chase, however, just tightened his hold on her even more.

"Then you WILL let go of me," Cuddy angrily responded at last. Chase pondered this for a moment, risk another catfight or lose his job. Seeing how sexy the first fight was, Chase decided to release her, but she didn't go after Cristi again, much to Chase's dismay.

"Me? What are you fifteen year old girls with raging hormones?" House finally continued after much thought, "I'm flattered…yet somewhat appalled. I mean come on Cuddy, you gave the impression that you hated me until Cristi came here with an urge to get in my pants." House struggled to hold back laughter at the thought of someone in his pants.

"So?!" Cuddy spat trying to cover up her palpable emotions.

"You started the fight…I saw…" House replied smirking, "Cuddy's got a crush, Cuddy's got a crush!" House said in a sing-song voice. This caused Cuddy to shut her mouth and turn away, nobody could know her feelings. House didn't say anything more, instead he clenched his stomach and limped back to his room, making sure the door slammed behind him. Cuddy flew from the crowded hallway and to the elevator. She knew she had to make it down to her office before she exploded with tears of the anger and jealousy that was now pounding in her veins.

As Foreman let go of his iron grip on Cristi, she sighed and exclaimed in a bouncy voice, "Wow, what a freak-out!" She lingered at the door that concealed House from her and the rest of the hallway which was slowly emptying out. She listened closely, but all that could be heard was the silent death that is found in hospitals. Unable to hold herself back, Cristi lightly rapped on the door.

"Greg? Greg?" She called in almost a whisper. There was no reply, after a moment Cristi turned from the door and cat walked down the long hallway, waving at Foreman and Chase as she modeled her way to the elevator. Once they heard the doors slide shut and the pulleys set in motion, Chase and Foreman began discussing what had just happened, unable to believe what they had just seen or heard.

"House? Dating?" Foreman raised his eyebrows and his chocolate eyes widened.

"Did you hear what I heard?" Chase asked in an excited, yet sexy Australian accent, "Cuddy and that hot chick…they were…fighting…over house!" He turned his beautiful head of golden hair towards the door as if expecting House to be listening them, but the hall was now deserted.

"I think I'm dreaming," Chase finally said, breaking Foreman's silent train of wandering thoughts.

"I think I am too," Foreman agreed as if that were the only explanation for Cuddy and Cristi's fight over House's heart. At that moment a loud, wrenching noise came from behind House's dull white door. His employees heard liquid splash sickeningly into a plastic bucket, House was throwing up again. This cut their conversation short and after they fell silent for a few minutes decided to find Cameron and tell her the scoop…and anyone else who would listen.

The next morning a nurse brought House breakfast, whish consisted of orange juice and two pieces of buttered toast. "Here you go, Gregory," She said slightly too cheerfully as she set the tray in front of him. He looked down at the plate, but held back his comment on how meager and plain the meal was. Instead, he nodded and picked up the first piece of burnt bread and nibbled off a small bite from the corner. The nurse watched him for a moment, feels somewhat sympathetic for him, and then continued her job, remembering how he would treat her when he was healthy again.

She lifted up a large blue bucket from the side of his bed and carried its contents to the toilet, where she dumped it. The foul odor of stomach acid filled her nostrils as the toilet swirled the chunky, murky water down its drain. Then she had the excruciatingly disgusting task of scrubbing out the bucket until it was clean enough for House to puke in it again.

Once he had finished eating, the nurse cleaned her hands before taking his half empty tray and reminded him to stay in bed. Today, House was not reluctant; his leg was stiff and prickled with white pain. If he moved to quickly the room spun and his stomach did back flips, threatening to bring up its contents. His head was heavy and his fever rising at a disturbing rate. No, there was no way he could get out of bed today.

The day was a blur, the hospital seemed silent with only the occasional nurses and visitors. House drifted in and out of a restless sleep, his stomach was weak and he regurgitated multiple times. His lunch was watery tomato soup and oyster crackers. His stomach could not even hold that down for long. House's vibrant energy drained, so that even when Cristi visited he didn't think about sex.

At about 6:00 p.m. Cristi tapped her knuckles on the door frame before sashaying into the room. She was wearing a cotton candy pink mini skirt with a matching blazer that buttoned half way up over her frilly, white silken blouse. Cristi's hair was done up in twirling, bouncy curls as well. "Hey, sleepy head," She said soothingly as she came up to his bed and stroked his hair back. House attempted to smile weakly at her touch, but did not reply to the fact that someone clad in pink was petting him. She looked down at him with a loving look and he saw in her auburn eyes that she was unwilling to talk about the events from the previous day. Cristi leaned forward to give him a peck on the lips, but House turned his head the other way.

"What's wrong?" Cristi questioned, obviously irritated, but trying to play it over as hurt.

House thought about his answer for a moment, he wanted to say something witty and cruel to throw her off guard, but instead he could only manage to whisper groggily, "I don't need anyone else to get sick."

"But we kissed yesterday," Cristi whined, leaving out the part where he pulled away angrily.

"I know, but it's worse today, I can't even stand," House saw that she refused to be rejected like this and wishing more than ever that his mind was clearer.

Cristi looked at him compassionately, "But, I'm sure it's not that bad, House! Come on! Just kiss me!" Suddenly the way House looked at her changed and he remembered her words that had been forgotten in the heat of the fight.

"What did you say?" He was rapidly feeling stronger now, "About planning?!" House was raging now, her words burned against his brain, "_You bitch! You said I could have him! That was the plan, to get House dating again! You said you wouldn't be jealous!"_ She had lied, and the worst part was that he had almost fallen for her; maybe he could have even loved her.

I know it has been so long since I last wrote, so I don't know how great this is. There wasn't a lot of medical stuff about the patient in this chapter; I'm going to try to bring her back in soon. Sorry for the delay, school (sigh)…Anyways, hope you enjoyed it and I hope I'll have the next chapter written soon. : D


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